Today I am more pregnant than I have ever been before. I had Ella "yesterday" in a sense, at 36 weeks 4 days gestation, so every day of Lukas' pregnancy from here forward is treading into uncharted territory. So far, today feels a whole lot like yesterday... but ask me again in a week or two.
I've felt all along that he would not be as early as his sister, though I have felt that he would be early nonetheless. I've had August 10th in my head for months, but who knows. I do sense a change this week. These past few months, I have been out of my mind with nesting. We literally did a top-to-bottom on our home, going through every cupboard, every closet, room by room, and getting rid of anything we did not need or want. Downsizing has been wonderful, since I remember that first year with Ella (and really, every year since)and all of the STUFF that can accumulate. It kind of felt like we were cleansing or purging the home to gear up for the winter. Spring cleaning that lasted well into the summer.
And I had these enormous amounts of energy! June and July were two of the busiest, most productive months we've had, which is ironic considering Stephen was laid off the whole time and I was 7 and 8 months pregnant. But something shifted on Monday. We completed the last big task (a huge garage sale) on our list over the weekend and I woke up on Monday feeling tired. Not just tired, but exhausted. In the past few days, I have taken naps (something I hadn't done since the first trimester) and still been ready for bed by 11. That might seem late, but my nesting urges had me awake and vacuuming past midnight a few times. It was scary. Yesterday, I hit a wall at 7:30 and could do nothing but sleep. I woke up at 10, sorted the laundry and took a shower, and was back in bed by 12. I thought I'd awaken today with energy galore after all the sleep I've been getting, but truthfully it's been hard to fight the urge to take yet another nap.
Maybe my mind is finally in tune with my body. I can no longer "mind over matter" it and keep plugging away at my to-do list, because there really isn't much left to do.It *almost* makes me want to add to the list so that I stay busy and productive. Time would move faster and besides, it's better for my body to stay active. But after these past few months, a few weeks of down time before Lukas comes does sound like a pretty good idea. It won't be long before I'm up at night nursing and getting far too little sleep and trying to adjust to parenting two tiny people. I should have grace for myself right now and just relax. It sure does make time move slower, though.
I'm excited for Sunday. I'll be 37 weeks, which is considered term. I think technically 38 weeks is full term, and anything before 37 weeks is pre-term, but for some reason 37 weeks is just called term. It's like the interim where really, for the most part, babies are usually done with development, but there's some that need a little more time so they won't lump week 37 into the FULL term category. Nonetheless, with my little man measuring at close to 39 weeks right now, there will be something very relieving about hitting the 37 week "term" mark. And after all of that hoping to get to at least 37 weeks, won't it be funny if he then rides it out to the full 40? Or even 41 or 42? Hah! That would be ironic. Even so, thinking of the 40 week mark being only 3 weeks from now, it doesn't seem far away at all. I do know that they will be a pretty uncomfortable few weeks, since he is measuring two weeks ahead and I already feel much further along than I ever did with Ella. But time passes, and 3 weeks really does seem like a drop in the bucket.
Stephen has continued to apply for many jobs, and my hope is that something is right around the corner. September would be a wonderful time for a job to pop onto the radar, after we've had Lukas and settled in for a week or two. My prayer is that a great job with more than enough provision is waiting for us as summer comes to a close. He also registered for Fall term at PCC, something that is equally scary and exciting for me to think about. On the one hand, the thought of him getting a job AND going back to school full time just after we have a baby is a little daunting. But it also means progress and I am so proud of my husband for the strides he is taking to better our family. He's such a hard worker with a servant heart and I can't say enough how grateful I am for him.
His classes should not be too bad (knock on wood) as he's taking Geology of the Pacific NW and Speech, one on Wednesday nights and one on Thursday nights, as well as an online required Writing class. I think we're both a little anxious about the Speech class but I know he'll be great. Geology should be a breeze and an enjoyable subject for him. And writing, though it was something he dreaded during his first few terms, has become something he's really good at and can do rather well. I make a pretty good editor as well, and a great (though at times obnoxious) cheerleader and deadline-setter. :)
I'm a little sad that I won't be doing this term with him. The two terms we've taken together have been really great, and he's only got a few more terms til his AA is complete so we have a limited amount of time left to tackle this school thing together. But I hope to take Winter term with him as long as we've settled into a healthy family groove by then. If Lukas is the laid back baby I've been praying for, it should be possible. We'll see. Then we'd take Spring term together as well, which will be Stephen's final term for his Associates Degree!
Well, here I go, planning our next year of life... I'm very good at being a visionary person. First things first, though. Have this baby. :D
