Oh, for heaven's sake. These emotions are out of control. It's so funny, the things that are getting me this pregnancy. It's just so different than my pregnancy with Ella. Every mom says that, so I should have expected it to be true, but I'm still floored at how unique my experiences are this time. One of the main differences I'm experiencing is a glitch with my emotional wiring. It seems like my body's natural response to joy is to cry, which comes out at the oddest of moments, some of them not even joyful enough to warrant eliciting much response whatsoever. I got tears in my eyes when I discovered I could get a bag of Hershey's Kisses for $.99 at Target this week, and pictured myself making those peanut butter cookies with the kisses pressed into the top. Yummmm. But honestly, tears in my eyes? I guess maybe I was more emotional over that fact that I would be doing something to bring my family joy, but good grief... that's a little over the top. I'd hate to think what would happen if any REAL emotional issue sprung up in my life right now.
I've been getting into this coupon thing a lot lately. I used to be a firm believer that most coupons were useless, based on the idea that buying the store brand item would be cheaper than these name brands, even with their fancy coupons. However, I've been reading this local blog written by several moms who combine manufacturer's coupons with store coupons and sale prices, and buy food and household items for pennies on the dollar- sometimes even free! Best of all, they chronicle the entire process so the reader can duplicate their endeavors and stock their pantries. I'm really enjoying learning the ropes. You should have seen how proud I was the other day when I scored two cans of Campbell's yummy soups (the big, hearty meal ones, not the little condensed cans) completely for free. It was a very empowering experience.
It definitely feels like this is a season of learning. Not only am I learning a new way to shop, as well as a new way to manage our finances, I'm also entering into a pretty serious learning environment with my back-to-school endeavors. I had my first class last night, a history class that will cover US history throughout most of the 1900s. I'm pretty excited about being back to school, but man, it's a lot to take in. Ella is changing in so many ways, right before my eyes, and now this tiny little baby is growing inside me... I feel such an urge to continue making my house a home and create a truly awesome environment for my kids to live and play and learn. The good news is, I think I'm gonna breeze through these first few terms of school by taking only the classes I know I can handle while pregnant, and I still feel like I'll have plenty of time to give to my family.
Not to mention, these three classes with my husband each week are so special to me! I made a comment recently that it's like having three date nights a week. Of course, there's nothing romantic about florescent lighting and lectures on the Great Depression, but as anyone who has young children can relate, even the 20 minutes of alone time in the car are such a welcome time of uninterrupted conversation and connection. We're hoping to head to class a little early sometimes, so we can grab a coffee or a quick bite to eat before school. I'm going to work on scaling back my grocery shopping even more (yay, coupons!) and try to find as many coupons for cheap dinners and coffees so that we can eat out or get lattes without making a dent in our budget. It's more fun that way... like a treasure hunt. Mochas taste so much sweeter when they're almost free. :)
Ella is in a season of "new" as well, with full sentences flying out of her mouth more and more each day. I still can't quite believe that I'm witnessing the transformation from baby into little girl already. It seems especially intense because she's talking and learning new things a lot earlier than many toddlers her age. Now I get that joke, "She's two, going on five." I used to think it mostly meant that your kid had a lot of attitude, which would also be true for Ella, but for me it also means my baby is not really a baby anymore. Of course, anytime I get overly emotional about this fact (which happens a lot lately... see: Hershey's Kisses) I end up with a little cuddle bug in my arms, giving me snuggles and kisses and saying, "I love Mama." Now that is a sentence I don't mind hearing one little bit.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tiny Dancer
My little girl loves to dance. She can boogie with the best of them, and is particularly inspired by music with Latin or Caribbean undertones. She's very cultured. ;) But her favorite dance move by far is when she becomes a "balladina". She loves to spin in circles, arms extended, while giggling and saying, "Soooo bizzy!" No, not busy as in preoccupied... bizzy is dizzy in Ellaspeak.
Usually she is a stickler for detail... listening closely to a new word and repeating it until she gets it right. But there are a few words that have formed their own identity in her head, and she says them the way she wants to say them without regard to how others say them. One example is melonwater. She's heard me say watermelon a thousand times. She's heard EVERYONE say watermelon. But it's melonwater to her. :)
And the sentences! All of a sudden, my girl is making full sentences. She's been saying a few short ones for a while now, or at least phrases. "Go to bed," "have snack," etc. But now, she will turn to me and completely out of the blue make these absolutely perfect sentences... "Mama, I want to go to the store," "Mama, want to play with me?" "Mama, I don't like this." That last one isn't exactly joy to my ears, because it's usually regarding another food that she has vetoed from her diet, but still... the fact that it's a sentence blows me away! I mean, I know everyone says their kid is the most amazing, intelligent, advanced child on the planet- but really, I've known a lot of two year olds in my day and most of them just don't talk like this. And she's been two years old for all of 3 weeks at this point. I'm not kidding. She's a genius.
Her memory bowls me over, too. My phone rang the other day and I knew it was my Dad calling because of the ringtone. But my Dad doesn't call all the time, and even when he does, I don't normally announce, "That's your Papa calling, and you can tell by the ringtone!" She knew, though. She looked up from her doll and said, "That's Papa!" The detail this little mind picks up is unreal. She's also really good at remembering quotes. She can say a few lines from her favorite movies (my favorites: "Who invited THAT kid?" and "That ain't no happy child."- both from Toy Story) and she will sometimes read parts of her book to herself and actually get the words right. She remembers many song lyrics, too, and will sing along or spontaneously burst into song, which melts my heart. I'm a big fan of music and am often singing a song around the house or in the car, so when she displays a characteristic that is clearly part of her Mama in her, it makes me feel proud and special that I'm a part of such a little person's life in such a big way.
Well, I guess this has just turned into a big giant bragfest, but it's not because I am one of those crazy moms who acts haughty about her fantastic, advanced children. It's more like I'm completely floored that I've been entrusted with such a fabulous being and play such a large role in her development and life experience. I just want to do my very best for her. It frustrates me sometimes to know that many people's sentiment about children is one of mild (or entire lack of) interest, or even sometimes annoyance and displeasure. I don't think some people fully grasp the idea that this person comes into the world with a fairly blank slate and it is your job as a parent to basically teach them how to live and be and do, well, everything! When you truly grasp that, it becomes impossible to NOT be amazed at all they can do and say, because you know that you have a direct role and responsibility in that development and you must be doing something right! It's the biggest and most important job you could ever have, and we all know what happens when parents neglect that responsibility. I take it very seriously.
I want my children to be the fulfillment of every ability and dream and possibility that God has shaped in their hearts, and I want them to reach that point only because they feel loved, nurtured and encouraged, not because they are forced or because it's expected of them. It excites me to dream of how these little tendencies- these beautiful capabilities that my baby girl shows at such an early age- will translate into her adult years. I don't expect anything of her but that she is true to the things God has put in her heart, but I just know that she is destined for greatness. All of our children are. And greatness does not necessarily mean a fabulous career, financial security, things that the world would view as signs of success. Greatness to me comes from your character, your countenance- and my little character is sure to succeed in that regard. I have a feeling this tiny balladina will be dancing through life with grace and confidence, and it's a pleasure to have a front row ticket to all her major performances. :)
Usually she is a stickler for detail... listening closely to a new word and repeating it until she gets it right. But there are a few words that have formed their own identity in her head, and she says them the way she wants to say them without regard to how others say them. One example is melonwater. She's heard me say watermelon a thousand times. She's heard EVERYONE say watermelon. But it's melonwater to her. :)
And the sentences! All of a sudden, my girl is making full sentences. She's been saying a few short ones for a while now, or at least phrases. "Go to bed," "have snack," etc. But now, she will turn to me and completely out of the blue make these absolutely perfect sentences... "Mama, I want to go to the store," "Mama, want to play with me?" "Mama, I don't like this." That last one isn't exactly joy to my ears, because it's usually regarding another food that she has vetoed from her diet, but still... the fact that it's a sentence blows me away! I mean, I know everyone says their kid is the most amazing, intelligent, advanced child on the planet- but really, I've known a lot of two year olds in my day and most of them just don't talk like this. And she's been two years old for all of 3 weeks at this point. I'm not kidding. She's a genius.
Her memory bowls me over, too. My phone rang the other day and I knew it was my Dad calling because of the ringtone. But my Dad doesn't call all the time, and even when he does, I don't normally announce, "That's your Papa calling, and you can tell by the ringtone!" She knew, though. She looked up from her doll and said, "That's Papa!" The detail this little mind picks up is unreal. She's also really good at remembering quotes. She can say a few lines from her favorite movies (my favorites: "Who invited THAT kid?" and "That ain't no happy child."- both from Toy Story) and she will sometimes read parts of her book to herself and actually get the words right. She remembers many song lyrics, too, and will sing along or spontaneously burst into song, which melts my heart. I'm a big fan of music and am often singing a song around the house or in the car, so when she displays a characteristic that is clearly part of her Mama in her, it makes me feel proud and special that I'm a part of such a little person's life in such a big way.
Well, I guess this has just turned into a big giant bragfest, but it's not because I am one of those crazy moms who acts haughty about her fantastic, advanced children. It's more like I'm completely floored that I've been entrusted with such a fabulous being and play such a large role in her development and life experience. I just want to do my very best for her. It frustrates me sometimes to know that many people's sentiment about children is one of mild (or entire lack of) interest, or even sometimes annoyance and displeasure. I don't think some people fully grasp the idea that this person comes into the world with a fairly blank slate and it is your job as a parent to basically teach them how to live and be and do, well, everything! When you truly grasp that, it becomes impossible to NOT be amazed at all they can do and say, because you know that you have a direct role and responsibility in that development and you must be doing something right! It's the biggest and most important job you could ever have, and we all know what happens when parents neglect that responsibility. I take it very seriously.
I want my children to be the fulfillment of every ability and dream and possibility that God has shaped in their hearts, and I want them to reach that point only because they feel loved, nurtured and encouraged, not because they are forced or because it's expected of them. It excites me to dream of how these little tendencies- these beautiful capabilities that my baby girl shows at such an early age- will translate into her adult years. I don't expect anything of her but that she is true to the things God has put in her heart, but I just know that she is destined for greatness. All of our children are. And greatness does not necessarily mean a fabulous career, financial security, things that the world would view as signs of success. Greatness to me comes from your character, your countenance- and my little character is sure to succeed in that regard. I have a feeling this tiny balladina will be dancing through life with grace and confidence, and it's a pleasure to have a front row ticket to all her major performances. :)
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Before I Forget
I keep telling myself I will write things down... these moments that come and go so quickly and I feel like I'll never forget. But I will forget, or I will write. So, write it is. :) As I type, my two year old daughter Ella Joy is sitting next to me on the couch with four washcloths piled on her head (a "hat", I'm sure), a pink binky in her mouth (yes, she's too old, and no, I don't care) and dolls from her dollhouse in her hands, as she watches Toy Story for the thousandth time. We bought her the dollhouse for her 2nd birthday, on August 22nd, 2010. She loves it.
Ella is really into Toy Story, but she's recently opened her heart and allowed two new movies to take hold... Bolt and Monsters, Inc. This is just more evidence that I have indeed birthed a genius, as these are movies I would normally associate with preschoolers at the youngest. But she gets some of the humor and she loves the characters. Monsters, Inc has taught her what "scary monsters" are, and with it, a new game of scare Ella! She says "Mama, I caaared. Daddy, I caaaared" as she pulls the blanket over her head. Then she giggles until we ROOOAR at her and jump on the bed and tickle her til her laughs turn to gasps for air. A few seconds to recover, aaaand.... she's "cared" again.
Last night, she was laying on the living room floor in her Disney Princess sleeping bag (garage sale- $3- thank you, Nana!) and she looked at me and said, "Mama, will you wahr me?" After me asking her to repeat herself several times, and saying aloud "What on earth is wahr me?", I realized she was saying "roar". OH! She wants Mama to scare her! And so I did. Roooar! The things she says, they just melt my heart. She is a miniature adult in so many ways. Lately, she's been saying "I have good news!' about everything. Of course, half the time there's no news to follow that proclamation, but just the fact that she says it, that she picked up on such a phrase, makes me marvel at her mind and how it must constantly be taking in new information.
Sometime in mid-April, things are going to change in a big way. Ella will have a little brother or sister and she won't rule the roost anymore. I've joked for a while now that she needs to be de-throned (my girl is very sweet but she's got more than her share of spice) but more than anything I hope that she never feels like she's any less special or important to me than she is right now. Really, the change isn't waiting til mid-April... it's already happening in a lot of ways. I'm only 8 weeks pregnant but with this nonstop nausea and fatigue, my big girl is already having to learn to grow some thicker skin and share Mama, even if it's with the couch and not another baby yet. It makes me sad in a lot of ways, because I did not factor in the changes that would happen this early on. My Mom (Nana) is constantly reassuring me that Ella is just happy Mama is home with her, and she won't remember me being sick and out of whack for a few months in the grand scheme of things. And she's right, of course... but with the combination of hormones, emotions, and the fact that my girl has been our life for the last two years, I can't help but feel a little uncertain about the changes ahead and how they'll affect her.
Speaking of hormones, I'll change the tone a bit here and leave you with a funny story (another thing I don't want to forget but probably will) that happened last night. Let me preface it a bit... So, I am a bit of an emotional person to begin with. When pregnant women joke at how they tear up at Kodak commercials and Hallmark cards, I laugh aloud but inwardly think "Isn't it normal to do that all the time?" Yeah, it doesn't take much for these eyes to get teared up, and thankfully it's more often tears of happiness than sadness. HOWEVER, when this basket case is pregnant, you can just forget it. Basically, I'm a mess for nine months, and the few following pregnancy too, for good measure. Now, on to my story...
Last night, I had one of those "get out of the house for some alone time" evenings... pure bliss. Armed with a grocery list and a purse full of coupons, I headed for Target- not just any Target, mind you, but the BIG Target at Cascade Station, the one that makes me giddy with joy because it just has SO DARN MUCH to it, and clearance out the ears on a consistent basis. I was already feeling that happy high of anticipation, wandering the aisles with my cart. I don't even have to buy anything. Simply viewing fabrics, patterns, colors, ideas, inspirations- it brings me a sense of life and creativity. But this time, I planned to fill my cart with some pretty amazing grocery deals I'd found online. Imagine my surprise when I pull up to the store and see all these beautiful fruit and vegetable decals covering the doors, and the signs underneath them: Fresh Produce, Coming in September!
So, naturally, my response was to cry. I cried. Full on tears in my eyes, spilling over my eyelids as I grinned stupidly and began to giggle. I mean, this is big stuff! Produce! At TARGET! Oh, man. And as I cried, I began to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the fact that I was crying about broccoli. Then I couldn't stop laughing, so I had to call my husband Stephen and share this ridiculous moment with him, just to show him how emotionally insane this pregnancy was making me! I was only a *little* offended when instead of feigning surprise, he just said "Yep" with this "You didn't have to explain that to ME" tone. (I'll save the OUR MARRIAGE IS OVER story because he washed Ella's new red and white shirt in WARM water for another day. I mean, come on... new red shirt, warm water- arrrrgh!!!!)
Well, maybe you'll appreciate the humor of the story a bit more than my husband did. At that point, I think he was just relieved that the emotions had caused me to laugh instead of going postal. And, for the record, my joy was short lived. Target has great prices for pantry items, but meat, dairy and produce? Not so much. But I hope that's the point of my blog... to help me share and remember all the joy I find in small things, however fleeting the moments may be. This stuff is just too good to forget.
Ella is really into Toy Story, but she's recently opened her heart and allowed two new movies to take hold... Bolt and Monsters, Inc. This is just more evidence that I have indeed birthed a genius, as these are movies I would normally associate with preschoolers at the youngest. But she gets some of the humor and she loves the characters. Monsters, Inc has taught her what "scary monsters" are, and with it, a new game of scare Ella! She says "Mama, I caaared. Daddy, I caaaared" as she pulls the blanket over her head. Then she giggles until we ROOOAR at her and jump on the bed and tickle her til her laughs turn to gasps for air. A few seconds to recover, aaaand.... she's "cared" again.
Last night, she was laying on the living room floor in her Disney Princess sleeping bag (garage sale- $3- thank you, Nana!) and she looked at me and said, "Mama, will you wahr me?" After me asking her to repeat herself several times, and saying aloud "What on earth is wahr me?", I realized she was saying "roar". OH! She wants Mama to scare her! And so I did. Roooar! The things she says, they just melt my heart. She is a miniature adult in so many ways. Lately, she's been saying "I have good news!' about everything. Of course, half the time there's no news to follow that proclamation, but just the fact that she says it, that she picked up on such a phrase, makes me marvel at her mind and how it must constantly be taking in new information.
Sometime in mid-April, things are going to change in a big way. Ella will have a little brother or sister and she won't rule the roost anymore. I've joked for a while now that she needs to be de-throned (my girl is very sweet but she's got more than her share of spice) but more than anything I hope that she never feels like she's any less special or important to me than she is right now. Really, the change isn't waiting til mid-April... it's already happening in a lot of ways. I'm only 8 weeks pregnant but with this nonstop nausea and fatigue, my big girl is already having to learn to grow some thicker skin and share Mama, even if it's with the couch and not another baby yet. It makes me sad in a lot of ways, because I did not factor in the changes that would happen this early on. My Mom (Nana) is constantly reassuring me that Ella is just happy Mama is home with her, and she won't remember me being sick and out of whack for a few months in the grand scheme of things. And she's right, of course... but with the combination of hormones, emotions, and the fact that my girl has been our life for the last two years, I can't help but feel a little uncertain about the changes ahead and how they'll affect her.
Speaking of hormones, I'll change the tone a bit here and leave you with a funny story (another thing I don't want to forget but probably will) that happened last night. Let me preface it a bit... So, I am a bit of an emotional person to begin with. When pregnant women joke at how they tear up at Kodak commercials and Hallmark cards, I laugh aloud but inwardly think "Isn't it normal to do that all the time?" Yeah, it doesn't take much for these eyes to get teared up, and thankfully it's more often tears of happiness than sadness. HOWEVER, when this basket case is pregnant, you can just forget it. Basically, I'm a mess for nine months, and the few following pregnancy too, for good measure. Now, on to my story...
Last night, I had one of those "get out of the house for some alone time" evenings... pure bliss. Armed with a grocery list and a purse full of coupons, I headed for Target- not just any Target, mind you, but the BIG Target at Cascade Station, the one that makes me giddy with joy because it just has SO DARN MUCH to it, and clearance out the ears on a consistent basis. I was already feeling that happy high of anticipation, wandering the aisles with my cart. I don't even have to buy anything. Simply viewing fabrics, patterns, colors, ideas, inspirations- it brings me a sense of life and creativity. But this time, I planned to fill my cart with some pretty amazing grocery deals I'd found online. Imagine my surprise when I pull up to the store and see all these beautiful fruit and vegetable decals covering the doors, and the signs underneath them: Fresh Produce, Coming in September!
So, naturally, my response was to cry. I cried. Full on tears in my eyes, spilling over my eyelids as I grinned stupidly and began to giggle. I mean, this is big stuff! Produce! At TARGET! Oh, man. And as I cried, I began to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the fact that I was crying about broccoli. Then I couldn't stop laughing, so I had to call my husband Stephen and share this ridiculous moment with him, just to show him how emotionally insane this pregnancy was making me! I was only a *little* offended when instead of feigning surprise, he just said "Yep" with this "You didn't have to explain that to ME" tone. (I'll save the OUR MARRIAGE IS OVER story because he washed Ella's new red and white shirt in WARM water for another day. I mean, come on... new red shirt, warm water- arrrrgh!!!!)
Well, maybe you'll appreciate the humor of the story a bit more than my husband did. At that point, I think he was just relieved that the emotions had caused me to laugh instead of going postal. And, for the record, my joy was short lived. Target has great prices for pantry items, but meat, dairy and produce? Not so much. But I hope that's the point of my blog... to help me share and remember all the joy I find in small things, however fleeting the moments may be. This stuff is just too good to forget.
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